Emotional Well Being
It is not uncommon to feel despondent during and subsequent to a matrimonial action. Divorce will cause upheaval in your social, economic and personal life. Regardless of the reasons for terminating a marriage, leaving your spouse and moving towards an uncertain future as a single person can be frightening. Recognizing the effects of divorce on your emotional well being and taking steps to cope with them is imperative.
Conversations with a professional mental health care provider, such as a psychologist, psychiatrist or social worker, can be beneficial. A professional can be a comforting presence who will listen to your concerns objectively and help you cope with them effectively. Certain providers, particularly those with medical degrees such as psychiatrists, can even provide medication if necessary. You should feel extremely comfortable talking to whichever professional you choose. After all, you will be discussing your life in intimate detail. Friends and family are a wonderful resource for finding the appropriate help in this regard. Certainly, your physician can refer you to someone he trusts.
Children of divorce often have emotional concerns which they might not feel comfortable relating to their parents. Each parent may have different opinions about the divorce and the effect it is having on their offspring. An outside party who can discuss your child’s concerns can be helpful. A professional with expertise in child or adolescent care, whose sole concern is your offspring’s well being, will help alleviate feelings of distress and remorse over your divorce.
Do not underestimate conversations with friends and family. Those closest to you have your best interests at heart and are usually more than willing to listen to your concerns. They know you well and can give you advice that fits your lifestyle.
Remember that although your attorney is a wonderful source for advice, his main concerns are the legal, rather than the emotional, aspects of your case. Obtaining the appropriate emotional support will allow you to free your mind to work with your attorney in a clear and objective way. Additionally, you will feel better if you are able to talk about your feelings and, thus, be able to move forward with your life with a sense of well being.
Question: what if you feel a need to send your child to a psychiatrist to deal with a divorce, but your ex spouse feels it’s unnecessary because “he’s just fine”?
If you share joint custody with your exspouse, you both need to make decisions together regarding medical issues. If your child is suffering from emotional issues related to your divorce and his concerns are effecting his life outside the home I would try to persuade your ex of the benefits of treatment. However, your ex might feel that your child is not having any emotional issues that require psychiatric intervention. A viable alternative is having open communication with your child about your divorce and reassuring him/her that you are always available even though you are no longer married to his mother. I would also advise his school that you are divorced. There are often counselors at schools who are available for the students and teachers can be wonderful people for children to talk to.