Communications with your spouse during and after a divorce
Given the adversarial nature of a divorce, communications between spouses during this period can be difficult at best. Discussions about the most minor issues can turn into extensive arguments. Avoiding any form of communication with your spouse is tempting but is not always a viable option. Very often there are issues which require conversations between a divorcing couple, such as children’s welfare and home upkeep. Allowing the attorneys to handle these issues could be expensive.
Fortunately, we live in a technological age. Email allows for discussions that are fact oriented and to the point. Additionally, conversations via email are not affected by tone of voice. Comments can be thought out and edited before being sent. The downside is that all communications via email are in writing and can be used against either spouse in a divorce proceeding. It is a good idea to forward any emails that cause distress to your attorney for his review before responding. Chances are, if you feel uncomfortable about a communication, there is an adversarial edge that needs to be addressed.
Not all communications can be effectively handled via email. If an emergency occurs, especially involving children, a telephone call to an ex spouse will probably be necessary. Hopefully, in such a circumstance, both spouses will be more concerned about solving the problem than arguing. However, keeping phone conversations short and to the point is always the best option.
Whichever type of communication is chosen, keeping conversations short and to the point is beneficial. It is preferable not to discuss the legal aspects of your divorce with your spouse. If a conversation seems to be spiralling out of control, end it. In short, relay information in a concise manner and end the conversation.